From Surviving to Leading: Alana Obey’s Healing Journey & The Birth of Obey Coaching

“I didn’t find healing. I fought for it.” – Alana Obey

Alana Obey’s story isn’t just about healing—it’s about choosing herself in a world that taught her not to. She is a Nehiyaw Iskwew (Cree woman), mother, coach, and survivor of Canada’s child welfare system and intergenerational trauma. Her journey is not linear. It’s layered with silence, self-abandonment, shame, and eventually—strength, culture, and storytelling.

Growing Up Invisible: Foster Care & Cultural Disconnection

“I was non-verbal until I was 6. I was so shy. I literally had no voice. I didn’t know what safety was—I knew survival.”

"Alana grew up in foster care on and off the reserve, where she was eventually placed with family when she was 6 years old—but emotionally disconnected. She was placed with her older sister throughout numerous foster homes, and she became her voice. During Alana's adolescence, she was separated from the only person who knew her and protected her and became completely alone. Surviving her teenage years, she remembers babysitting a lot of the time, feeling disposable rather than someone who mattered. While the placement exposed her to her culture and family, it also taught her to perform for approval, to stay small, and to not expect love without conditions."

She was shy, people-pleasing and afraid to say no. She didn’t have boundaries—she had walls. And she had no language to describe the resentments, fears, and needs building inside her and the only outlet was addictions.

Codependency & Unhealthy Love

In her teens and twenties, Alana found herself in a cycle many Indigenous youth know too well—chasing love, abandoning herself, and confusing attention with safety.

“I didn’t know what a healthy relationship looked like. I thought if someone wasn’t jealous, they didn’t love me. I thought needing space made me a bad friend.”

She found herself in relationships where she became the caretaker, the rescuer, or the one who needed saving. Each failed connection brought her closer to one realization: something had to change—but it had to start inside.

Breaking Point to Breakthrough

At 26, Alana entered counselling. She started asking bigger questions:

• Why do I keep ending up in the same kind of relationships?

• Why me, why do bad things always happen to me?

• What would it feel like if I could say how I felt?

This was the beginning of her healing journey—but the real turning point came at age 30, when she finally chose sobriety. Sobriety was not just about substances—it was about clarity, self-respect, and radical accountability. Sobriety was a constant journey, its not like it ends forever; it has it ups and downs, we all have our own path, our own pace and our own power. What matters if you fall off your path, you have the choice to get back on course and fight for yourself, Alana's first 7 years of sobriety was the first time in her life when she started to understand who she was.

“I got tired of being mad after wishing I had spoken up and giving so much and having nothing left for me.”

She started practicing meditation, mirror work, body scans, and emotional regulation. She reconnected with her cultural roots. She met other healers. She learned the language of emotions and how to sit with herself.

Healing Isn’t Quiet Anymore

Healing wasn’t easy—it was messy. Alana had to sit with grief. She had to say no, speak up, and face the inner child who still needed love.

She learned:

• Resentment is premeditated self-abandonment.

• Boundaries aren’t rejection—they’re respect.

• It’s okay to be angry. Anger is information.

This self-work became her new foundation. And it gave birth to Obey Coaching—a space where Indigenous youth could learn what she never did as a child.

The Birth of Obey Coaching

Alana built Obey Coaching as a culturally grounded coaching practice rooted in:

• Safety & trust-building

• Identity & voice

• Emotional regulation

• Asserting Healthy Boundaries

• Codependency Awareness

• Grief & Loss

• Prevention services and Youth Empowerment

Every worksheet, circle, and journal prompt comes from her lived experience. Every boundary map, affirmation, and exercise is something she wishes she had growing up.

Now, she coaches youth ages 12–29, offers workshops in Treaty 4 Territory, and speaks on stages and performs stand-up comedy to inspire others through her story.